Up this morning at 3am, on my birthday engaging in my favorite pastime which is fitting and situating meaning and my experience of being. Unapologetically, a lot of my work centers upon parsing out experiences of vulnerability, rejection, acceptance, and the pivot of desire and pleasure that enable access to the spirit. This morning as I reflect upon the feeling of “not being picked”, of being passed over, looked over, and having interpreted those experiences as an indicator of being less worthy or inadequate, I could not help but think of how I continually run into the honest observation that I, in fact, have done and do the same thing to others. That humbles me as I begin to criticize and fault others and their frailties. The even more pressing reality is not the ways I have also rejected others, but the ways I have collaborated with others to reject myself.

Then the image came to my mind which inspired this brief writing. Recall that we have been socialized that it is impolite and a sign of social disgrace to point at others (or at least let others see you pointing at them-there’s a thought). You might have heard the adage, “when you point a finger you have three pointing back at you.” And that’s what I realized: for every person I have and could accuse of the insidious crime of rejecting me (HOW DARE THEY, right? LOL), I had three fingers pointing back at me. Not so much fingers that pointed back at me because I had done the same thing of which I was accusing others, but those three fingers point to the countless occasions for which I participated in my own demise through self-rejection. Have you ever seen those three fingers pointing back at you? With this frame, I sense the power toward REsolution.