Today during our grad seminar, we lapsed into a discussion about how to keep our wits as we matriculate through the doctoral program in public health at Hopkins.  Because there are countless opportunities for meaningful involvement and copious opportunities for interaction with first rate researchers and their very interesting topics, our groups concern became how do we not let “this little light of mine” go out way too soon.  Dr. Amy Knowlton advised, “The key [to success in the graduate education at Hopkins] is learning to manage expectations.”

I’m sure I’ve heard that before, but today it took the form of manna dropping from the sky in the wilderness (biblical reference to the narrative of the children of Israel’s exodus from slavery out of Egypt).  Learn how to manage expectations. How simply profound! I understand that to mean that I have to not only manage my own expectations giving appreciable consideration to what is most feasibly aligned with my goals and capacity , but I also need to manage others’ expectations of me.

When we think about failure, it doesn’t necessarily represent the absence of (any sort of) accomplishment.  At its heart is the discouragement resulting from not meeting some idealized or envisioned goal.  I’ve previously discussed that disappointment is code for the realization that one’s expectations were not appropriately or even fairly assigned, especially in the case when we feel disappointment with someone else.  It may be that we set an expectation for the other person for which he or she actually did not consent  Thus the disappointment is not their responsibility, it’s our failure to properly manage our expectations.

Perhaps the frustration of disappointment or feeling failure can be averted when we make sense of our goals and our expectations by appropriately placing them or managing them in our lives.  Know what your resources and capacities are, acknowledge the possibilities and present limitations, and situate them accordingly. We must answer that gnawing compulsion to respond to the standards and expectations that others have set for us by simply managing it  How much more freedom might everyone experience in their pursuits if they appropriately managed the expectations that they have set for themselves and the expectations that others have set for them.

I just found her statement to be incredibly sobering and thought provoking. I hope it will be a source of insight and inspiration for you as well.