Judgement can actually bless your life…

We can save ourselves a lot of frustration by learning to distinguish between the times when someone is evaluating or judging your performance and when someone is judging YOUr worth and value. The former is constructive if you won’t make it personal, but the latter can be destructive–>so just don’t allow it (to live in you).

Offering feedback about my doing and activity is entirely different than offering your opinion about my personal value and worth. However, we often conflate the two and take judgment very personally because we have erroneously equated our Being with our Doing. In my world, they are not the same. Although my doing may be an extension of what I understand about my being today, my awareness of my being or identity could very well change with time and experience which would ultimately impact my doing. Therefore, you cannot sufficiently interpret from my behavior today the eternal frame and sum of my identity in its entirety.

Doubtless, you have heard the retort of someone who feels judged that, “God says you shouldn’t judge.”  The reason why the Bible says judge not lest you be judged is not to discourage the constructive art of providing critical feedback. It was given to inform our understanding that judgment is immediately REFLEXIVE.

That is to say you cannot judge something or someone without also being exposed for investigation. It’s like a mirror. For you to tell me what it should be immediately invites me to reflect back to you and evaluate whether you yourself are in fact an example or embodiment of that standard yourself. It’s not something to avoid because whether you verbalize it or not, you are making judgments every day of your life. The point is be prepared to be modified, challenged and changed as a result of your own judgment of the world outside of you. If your own judgment does not reflect back to you and your actions, then you are DISILLUSIONED.

Also, the warning about judging others points to the fact that judgment is not an “isolated” activity, but it is a relational activity.  One that requires communion and reciprocity. So then if you are not prepared to get down in my life with me, you are not authorized to render your judgment!

In conclusion I offer that a person need not be perfect to offer their judgment; they need only possess humility, grace, a broad understanding, and preferably a gift for guiding and instructing toward the standard (sounds like a person I know 🙂

I’ve learned to welcome judgment because it ultimately EXPOSES the best about me.

I’ve changed my mind and welcome it when God wants to judge and inspect me because He always does it in love and in hope. Not to belittle, shame, or devalue me.  If its not worth the effort, why say anything right? God expects so much from me and considers what is inside of me so praiseworthy that he uses judgment to expose the gift and make room for a greater expression of the DIVINE in me.

**Though best fully explored in another discussion, it’s worth noting that judgMENTALISM might be perceived as entirely different than the art of judging.