What i offer-what i deserve:Know the difference

There are times i am troubled by the vast difference in what i offer to others as courtesy, respect, and regard for their humanity and value versus what i receive from their actions toward me. That wide chasm sometimes makes me feel as if i am perceived by them as less worthy and not enough to receive the same consideration that i would give. Therein lies the trap: just because that is what i would offer to someone to demonstrate my regard does not mean that other people (1) value others the way that i do (2) or find value in that particular expression of care. Consequently, i cannot allow myself to think that because i did not reciprocally receive that same consideration i would give, the other person thinks i am worth less or begin to believe that i actually am worth less.

In other words don’t make “yo jam” everybody else’s jam. If that person is someone you want to receive that expression of consideration from, either you might consider communicating your desire/emotional need. If you are not comfortable with having that conversation, it could also be that the other person or that relationship is not worth the risk of  your vulnerability. As a bonus, it may potentially be a sign for you that there is possibly some measure of incompatibility, and that incompatibility may be significant in determining the nature or continuation of the relationship connection.

But in the name of all that is pure, don’t further injure yourself by telling yourself a story in which you are the only character, the victim and protagonist and everybody else who did not give you what you wanted is made out to be the villain. We do that sometimes, and we need to make sure that we take full accountability for the narratives and roles we write for other people.  And then sometimes, the villain is actually the villain (and you don’t teally need any more proof of it) so stop talking yourself out of what you know and feel is true.

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